EMDR Therapy for LGBTQIA+ Shame Resilience in Melbourne

#read time: 3 minutes

1. Understanding LGBTQIA+ Shame and Resilience

  - What is LGBTQIA+ shame?

Queer shame or LGBTQIA+ shame relates to the feeling of worthless associated with our sexual identity. It is the internal message that there is something wrong with us because we are maybe multi-sex attracted or trans. Shame is the painful feeling that there is something about us that means we are unworthy of belonging and connection.

  - The importance of resilience in the LGBTQIA+ community

Self-worth (feeling good about who we are) as an LGBTQIA+ person is fundamental to our well-being. Without it, we are vulnerable to anxiety, depression and further trauma. Feeling good about ourselves helps us bounce back from setbacks and not take failures personally.

EMDR therapy offers a path to relief and empowerment. It can help you process shame-based trauma memories from the past so they no longer bother you. EMDR helps you process shame-based memories that you try your best not to think about. In successful EMDR sessions, these memories fade, and individuals experience no distress associated with them, paving the way for a brighter, more hopeful future.

2. The Power of EMDR Therapy

  - What is EMDR therapy?

EMDR therapy, or Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing, is a highly effective counselling approach designed to alleviate distress associated with traumatic memories. It involves sets of eye movements that evokes bilateral stimulation which helps process unresolved traumatic experiences and beliefs. By reprocessing these experiences, EMDR treatment aims to reduce emotional distress and negative thoughts, enhance self-understanding, and promote psychological healing and resilience.

  - How it works for processing shame

Shame felt intensity means is is often referred to as the master emotion. It is an intensely painful feeling that can overwhelms our capacity to process it, which results in the memory being stored as trauma. LGBTQIA+ generally have more shame-based memories, given the impact of homophobia and transphobia on our daily lives.

By activating shame-based memories of the past, clients can safely allow themselves to feel all the associated feelings of memory, such as fear and anger and witness this peak and descend in intensity. Once the psychological distress is down to a 0, your EMDR therapist will help you replace a negative belief with a positive one, such as ‘I’m okay as I am’.

In the future, you can recall the shame-based memory, but the image of it has faded, and you call the positive belief instead of the negative belief.

3. Navigating Shame in Melbourne's LGBTQIA+ Community

  - Common sources of shame for LGBT individuals

Across my work with LGBTQIA adults, I have heard many similar stories of shame. You are not alone in your struggles. These include experiences of rejection when coming out to family, being caught using same-sex porn and sexual experiences that were not aligned with the client's desires but were socially accepted.

  - Personal journeys of LGBTQIA+ individuals overcoming shame with EMDR

James (name changed for confidentiality) is a 25-year-old gay male who has struggled with self-esteem difficulties since he was a teenager. This has resulted in social withdrawal, only engaging with other gay men through hook-up apps and difficulties with substance abuse.

Through the EMDR process, James was able to identify three shame-based distressing memories that he rated as an 8-9/10 in terms of distress. These included being caught with gay porn, being bullied by a group of same-aged peers as a teenager for ‘running like a girl’, and his first sexual partner negatively commenting on his body.

This left James with the negative belief that he was worthless and not good enough . These negative beliefs supported the behaviours he wanted to change. Following a successful EMDR process, James started to feel he was worthy of love and that he was okay as he was and began intentionally going on dates with other gay men who were emotionally available. He also felt encouraged to change to a values-aligned job; as a result of these changes, James' mental health significantly improved, his substance abuse reduced, and he felt ready to finish up therapy. 

Next steps

Ready to unlock your self-worth and resilience with EMDR therapy in Melbourne? Connect with me today to schedule a 15-minute complimentary consult. I'm here to listen, understand, and support you on your journey to healing and self-acceptance.